white lies

My son missed his potty and peed on the floor. I cleaned it up with paper towels but forgot to actually CLEAN it with cleaner. My husband stepped on the damp spot later that night and freaked - so I told him it was just cleaner and to stop freaking out about it. - MP

Caught

Each preschool day, Isaac brings home at least one color page &/or art project. Every couple weeks I go through & toss the less to least impressive. Yesterday, I was caught. Whoops! Isaac came up to me, "Mommy!  Why did you throw away my pages?!"  "I'm sorry, bubs, you just have SO many!" Quietly, he replies, "But Mommy, it breaks me.  You hurt my feelings." Trying not to giggle, "I broke your heart?" "Ya, Mommy. It's not nice. You have to say you're sorry."  Nothing like getting guilt tripped AND reprimanded by a 4yo. - Christi B.

Fake Out

My sister has three adult kids. When they were teens it was like pulling teeth to get them to help clean. Well, she passed away last month and as we were reminiscing her kids told me how she would call her home phone with her cell, have a pretend conversation and then get off the phone and say "Quick!!! Nana (me, Auntie was taken in our family and my name is rather hard for a kid to say) is coming over we gotta clean up!" The kids new that it took about an hour for me to get there so they would jump up and start cleaning and in one hour my sister would have a clean house. I guess she did it for years before her oldest figured it out and she confessed. Thank goodness her kids thought it was funny as heck. LOL - Angelique N.

Sneaky

In the beginning, fast food was a point of contention in our house. So, I would go to the store when I did my weekly shopping and get $20 over at the check stand. Grab Taco Bell on the way home, enjoy and throw it away outside before my hubby got home. All he saw was the total amount at the grocery store on the bank statements. That worked until my oldest could talk, lol. Now he doesn't care, but that is how I kept my sanity in the beginning. - Angelique N.

Blanket Party

I hide my iPod under the blankets at night so my hubs doesn't wake up and find me on FB or twitter.-Michelle P.

Construction

When my son asked if we could go to McDonalds the last time we drove by it, I told him it was closed for the entire week. He asked why there were cars there and the lights were on. I replied those are the construction workers fixing it.  He waited the entire week before asking to go eat there again. - Brandy L.

Workout-less

Sometimes I tell my husband I worked out even though I really took a nap. - Anonymous

Sleepy

My husband thinks im a heavy sleeper because he was the only one who got up with out daughter when she would climb out of her bed in the middle of the night, little does he know I heard her everytime I was just silently telling him "it's your turn." - Allison C.

Dropped Calls

I sometimes hang up on my mother in law so I don't have to listen to her horrible advice how to raise my kids. Then she will call back at the end of the day and I'll tell her sorry the call dropped. - Anonymous

Lost

I hide books that I'm sick of reading under the couch. - Jackie D.

Errands

Sometimes I make up errands that I have to run so my mom will watch my daughter and I can have some free time.

-Allison

Fertile Myrtle

My husband thinks we are super fertile bc of our 3 kids that weren't planned. Little does he know that they were planned, just not by him. - Anonymous

White Lies

I tell my children if they are very very good while we do the shopping I will pay for them to go on "the ride"...The ride being the escalator to the carpark. - Michelle H.

Spit

 I'm doing the Biggest Loser with my local gym and today I tried to sneak a rolo candy while my husband was in the other room. Then I felt so bad that I ran to the trash and spit it out. - Sarah B.

Neither of my children were dirty today however I put them in the bath tub just so I could sit and relax for a minute. - Suzanne S.

I went to the gym today and when I got there I didn't feel so hot. I dropped my daughter off in the daycare, went upstairs to stretch, decided I didn't want to work out, and went in the cafe and sat and played on my phone and listened to music. For 45 minutes. - Suzanne S.

When I pick up carry-out pizza, I eat mine on the way home because I know I won't get to eat in peace once I get home. - Morgan Z.

 I took a couple of pieces of candy from my kiddos' halloween buckets last night while visiting my grandma to hand out to a couple of trick or treaters at her house so none of us would have to go inside to get the bowl of candy. - Kelly G.

So sometimes I clip my sons toenails at the dinner table! Yup. It's the only time he's distracted enough to not flail. Stephanie M.